you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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