I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize