a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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