Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
