At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
