i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
