ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
