Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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