What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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