I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
