if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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