I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
