I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
