I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it's like iHOP with fire
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
