he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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