theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
