He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
