I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
