And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
