Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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