Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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