just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
