you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
