i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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