If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
