just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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