he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
