Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
