Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
