I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
