if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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