Fuck appropriateness.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
