You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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