you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
