That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
time to smoke my breakfast
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
