is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
