She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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