I can't watch pbs sober anymore
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
