Pants 0. Shit 1.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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