Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
