Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
