Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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