If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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