Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
