South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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