nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize