i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she told me i tasted like america
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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