return my video game
it hurts more in the daytime
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
