she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
