so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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